the-laughing-cactus: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
Some kid called me a lady earlier.
absinthine: absinthine: some girl just submitted a resume in comic sans i am fucking wheezing this is not a fucking drill
Anonymous asked: WOW, I just lost a bunch of weight using the OFFICIAL TUMBLR DIET!! Are u using it as well? check it out at TumblrHealthDiet[d0t]com
drarna: the fact that axe handles are made of wood is the ultimate “fuck you” to trees
That awkward moment when you don't know if a car...
j4ckkme0ff: kimig11-riker6: rikerr5: dumbhumanlikeyou-: this. hahahaha EXACT REACTION OMG omfg 267% accurate
reblog if you want anonymous opinions of you
wouldyouliketoseemymask: I admire Hannibal’s composure during meal times with his guests because there is no way that I would be able to refrain from giggling uncontrollably before yelling “HAHAHAHA IT’S NOT RABBIT IT’S PEOPLE YOU JUST GOT PUNK’D!!!”
If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness.– A phrase that was carved on the walls of a concentration camp cell during WWII by a Jewish prisoner (via funpoolparty)
me: on tumblr
me: clicks video
me: please be fuckin youtube
I may not go down in history but I’ll go down on you
loveforalia: You know you had a Catholic upbringing when somebody says “May the force be with you” and your instant reaction is to reply with “And also with you”.
Neil Gaiman: rosalarian: I had enough messages... →
rosalarian: I had enough messages last night to the extent of “I’m a medical professional, and even by the brief description of your symptoms I can say this is more than green tea and honey is going to fix,” that I gave in and called my doctor. I explained that I didn’t have health…
cadever: There is a reason why it is called pro choice and not pro abortion. We want a choice.
theoncomingstormofgallifrey: such-a-retardis: catswithbenefits: why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.